As passengers on an airplane, we are told to put the oxygen mask first on our own face and then to focus on getting the oxygen mask on our child’s face. This principle can apply to the survival tactics associated with grief. It’s difficult to find strength to support anyone, even our own children, if we have no strength to support ourselves. So, first, we need to suck in as much oxygen as we can and then go to our children and provide them with oxygen, as well. This doesn’t mean that we should expect our hearts and minds to be healed before we reach out to surviving children. In fact, when a death occurs in a family, the entire family needs oxygen as soon as possible.